After the interview, I went back to work. I just told my boss, a tenured professor at the School of Pharmacy, how it went. I told her that I made it harder for myself than it needed to be. And she apologized for not practicing with me. She asked if I was asked a mean question 'coz a former lab member who applied to UCSF was asked, "how sure are you that you're here because of your merits and not because of your boss?" I told her that they weren't mean to me at all. And she was happy with that.
And then, since I had nothing better to do at work, I went home. On my way home, my friend, F called me. And from the tone of my voice she presumed that the interview went really well. I told her that it went okay. It was not great. But it was not terrible, either. It was just okay. And I assume that it was weird for someone to hear a person who did just okay in an interview sounding really happy. But I was really happy and I have several reasons for being really happy. =)
For one, the interview was over! The dreaded UCSF interview was finally over! Who wouldn't be happy about that?
For another, I was already looking forward to my trip down to San Diego, then to LA to meet up with Eileen an d Alvin. Of course I was excited. =)
But most importantly, I was happy because through the interview, I felt God's presence in a way that I have not felt for the past couple of months. I was certain that He was just there, that He was with me the whole time.
My prayer for the interview was such - "Kindly send me Your Spirit that I may have the eloquence I would need to answer all the questions my interviewers will ask of me so that I may get in to a school of pharmacy this fall. But if it's not Your will for me to enter, kindly grant me the grace to accept Your will with a grateful heart, knowing that You were with me every step of the way and that You have a better will for me."
And that prayer worked, in a sense that I was not holding on tightly to my dreams of becoming a pharmacist. That if I don't get in, at least I knew I went on this exciting journey with God, wherein He allowed me to apply to a Pharmacy school, and allowed me to interview to both schools. =)
I was really happy too because I realized that God made me "incompetent" (not really the word I wanted to use, but it's the only one I can think of at the moment) so I would fully rely on Him. He allowed me to get sick, thus preventing me to prepare for the interview in the way I wanted. My boss's husband got sick as well and in the days leading up to my interview, she wasn't able to come to work as well. So, she and I never got to practice as we both intended. Try as I may to answer "why pharmacy and why not medicine," I could not really come up with an answer. Everytime I would think of pharmacy and the questions I would likely be asked, my mind goes blank. And so, I wasn't able to prepare for it at all - at least, not in the way I wanted.
Because I wasn't prepared and because I did not do too well in my interview at UCSF, IF I do get in, IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF GOD. It's not because of me or what I've done, but because of God and what He's done. And for someone who's always relied on herself, it is a great experience to lean and rely completely on God. =)
Because of what I mentioned above (relying completely on God), I had a different attitude and outlook after the interview. Had this interview happened 5 years ago, after the interview I would be bawling. WAAH. And I would be saying, "I did terribly in my interview. I'll never get in. I'll never be a pharmacist. I won't ever ever have a career. God doesn't have a plan for me." Now, I know that God truly has a plan for me. And if it's not pharmacy school, I know that He has a better plan in store for me. And if it is pharmacy, even if I did not do too well in the interview, God is so powerful, He can do something with the flick of his hands (does He have hands?), and I would get in. And if I do get in, I'll be truly grateful to Him, because I would have gotten in ONLY because of GOD. =)
The song I love listening to right now is "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns because of the lines:
Not because of who I am but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done but because of who You are
Truly, IF I get in to UCSF it's not because of who I am but because of what God has done and not because of what I've done but because of who God is. =)
And then, since I had nothing better to do at work, I went home. On my way home, my friend, F called me. And from the tone of my voice she presumed that the interview went really well. I told her that it went okay. It was not great. But it was not terrible, either. It was just okay. And I assume that it was weird for someone to hear a person who did just okay in an interview sounding really happy. But I was really happy and I have several reasons for being really happy. =)
For one, the interview was over! The dreaded UCSF interview was finally over! Who wouldn't be happy about that?
For another, I was already looking forward to my trip down to San Diego, then to LA to meet up with Eileen an d Alvin. Of course I was excited. =)
But most importantly, I was happy because through the interview, I felt God's presence in a way that I have not felt for the past couple of months. I was certain that He was just there, that He was with me the whole time.
My prayer for the interview was such - "Kindly send me Your Spirit that I may have the eloquence I would need to answer all the questions my interviewers will ask of me so that I may get in to a school of pharmacy this fall. But if it's not Your will for me to enter, kindly grant me the grace to accept Your will with a grateful heart, knowing that You were with me every step of the way and that You have a better will for me."
And that prayer worked, in a sense that I was not holding on tightly to my dreams of becoming a pharmacist. That if I don't get in, at least I knew I went on this exciting journey with God, wherein He allowed me to apply to a Pharmacy school, and allowed me to interview to both schools. =)
I was really happy too because I realized that God made me "incompetent" (not really the word I wanted to use, but it's the only one I can think of at the moment) so I would fully rely on Him. He allowed me to get sick, thus preventing me to prepare for the interview in the way I wanted. My boss's husband got sick as well and in the days leading up to my interview, she wasn't able to come to work as well. So, she and I never got to practice as we both intended. Try as I may to answer "why pharmacy and why not medicine," I could not really come up with an answer. Everytime I would think of pharmacy and the questions I would likely be asked, my mind goes blank. And so, I wasn't able to prepare for it at all - at least, not in the way I wanted.
Because I wasn't prepared and because I did not do too well in my interview at UCSF, IF I do get in, IT IS ONLY BECAUSE OF GOD. It's not because of me or what I've done, but because of God and what He's done. And for someone who's always relied on herself, it is a great experience to lean and rely completely on God. =)
Because of what I mentioned above (relying completely on God), I had a different attitude and outlook after the interview. Had this interview happened 5 years ago, after the interview I would be bawling. WAAH. And I would be saying, "I did terribly in my interview. I'll never get in. I'll never be a pharmacist. I won't ever ever have a career. God doesn't have a plan for me." Now, I know that God truly has a plan for me. And if it's not pharmacy school, I know that He has a better plan in store for me. And if it is pharmacy, even if I did not do too well in the interview, God is so powerful, He can do something with the flick of his hands (does He have hands?), and I would get in. And if I do get in, I'll be truly grateful to Him, because I would have gotten in ONLY because of GOD. =)
The song I love listening to right now is "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns because of the lines:
Not because of who I am but because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done but because of who You are
Truly, IF I get in to UCSF it's not because of who I am but because of what God has done and not because of what I've done but because of who God is. =)
1 comment:
that's a nice outlook... magaya ka nga. hehehe!
kelan nga pala malalaman yung results?
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