UNEMPLOYEE OF THE WEEK

In 2002, my boss hired 3 Staff Research Associates. I'm one of them. The last one she hired was Allan, a funny, charming, witty, entertaining person. Allan came to the lab full of stories, full of laughter, full of energy and enthusiasm. He brought light and laughter into the dark and gloomy laboratory of ours. =)

Being gay, he has such an artistic flair. One time, he saw an octagonal styrofoam thingy (I honestly don't know what to call it), that has a square (can I call it hole?) hole in the middle. He took it and put his face on the hole and posed, using the styrofoam as a frame. He made the whole lab laugh at his antics. Then, he had this brilliant idea of using the styrofoam as a picture frame. He printed out a picture of the postdoctoral fellow he was working for, and glued it to the styrofoam and hung the picture with the frame on a coat hanger by his bench. And he printed a sign, "Employee of the Week," and placed it above the picture frame.

He changed the pictures once a month, even though it said "Employee of the Week." He had almost everybody up there, including yours truly. And no one could ever touch that frame. Only he could decide who goes up there. And of course, his decision was random and absolutely based on nothing. =)

About a year after he started putting up the "Employee of the Week," he was laid off. Our lab depend on funds from the National Institutes of Health. And there was a year when our lab seriously lacked funds. So, Allan had to go, even though he was such a big asset in the lab. He had one publication in his two years in the lab (a really big accomplishment since we also had an SRA who had been here 5 years and had no publication from the lab).

Anywho, I inherited his bench when he left. And inheriting his bench meant I could have control of the "Employee of the Week" pictures. So naturally, I placed his picture up, and never took it out.

He visited the lab a week after his last day and he saw that his picture was up. And he asked me to take it down, with a little tear forming in his eye. And I told him that I won't. He was quiet for a bit. And then he started laughing. He printed a sign, "Unemployee of the Week," and placed it on top of his picture. I never took the picture nor the sign down, until recently.

My boss came up to me and asked me to take it down. She said I could keep the picture but take the "Unemployee of the Week" sign. I didn't understand what the big deal was. It was a joke. And it was even the UNEMPLOYEE who put the sign up.

I realized this morning that the year when Allan was laid off was a bad year for the lab, and most especially for our boss. She had a lot of money when Allan, Jyh, and I started (that's why she was able to hire 3 SRAs). And in 2 years, she lost all that money and had difficulty getting funding from the government. The sign reminds her of her small failings at managing accounts and obtaining generous funds for the lab.

And so I took the sign and the picture frame out. I replaced it with an, "SRA Archive" sign (as requested by my boss). And I also placed his name and where he is now, as a reminder that this lab did wonders for all of us SRAs who came and started working in 2002.

Allan is a medical student in Massachussetts
Jyh is a medical resident in Ohio
And I will be a pharmacy student in 2 months.

It's something my boss could be proud of.

HARRY POTTER ALMOST HERE

In less than a month, we'll be able to read the final (sniff, sniff) Harry Potter book. And I'm really excited! In my excitement, I decided to read books 4, 5, and 6 again to refresh my memory of things that happened. I already forgot a lot of stuff, especially from book 6. I already forgot all about Ron and Lavender. It wasn't until my co-worker mentioned it that I remembered. And I call myself a Harry Potter fan. tsk tsk.

Anywho, I finished reading Book 4. And my former disappointments with the 4th movie surfaced again. Sigh. I don't know what they'll do in Book 5. I'm sure I'll be somewhat disappointed again.

I've begun reading Book 5. I'm not quite halfway there yet. I'm in page 300 something. It'll be a while befoer I finish it. How I wish I have a whole day to myself devoted to just reading the book. And how I wish I was a fast reader. But alas, I'm not. Hopefully, by the end of next week, I would have already started Book 6.

With regard to Book 5, I didn't remember Harry being so angry. It seems like he's just angry all the time in this book. It's kind of disheartening to read. Maybe that's why Book 5 was my least favorite of all the books.

I'm still looking forward to watching the movie, so I can criticize it. =P Hopefully, people who didn't read the book can follow the story more closely than they did the 4th one. Boy! I had to answer questions for about an hour after my cousins and I watched the 4th one. They couldn't follow the plot! And I hope it won't be the case this time around.

I hope they'll show the flying scene at the beginning of the book - Harry followed by his 8 or 9 guards flying from Privet Drive to Grimmauld Place. I was trying to envision it as I was reading that part, so I would love to see it in the movie. It might not be shown though since it might be considered not integral to the plot.

I'm also hoping to see the phone booth Mr. Weasley and Harry used to enter the Ministry of Magic office. Will it be like the phone booth Superman uses? =P

And of course, I'd love to see Harry's detention with Professor Umbridge - the one where he was writing lines.

Anywho, I'd give my eyes rest now. And go to sleep. Maybe I'll dream of Harry, Ron and Hermione! =P

ME? SAGE?

Well, according to this online test, APPARENTLY!

You are a Sage, characterized by a thinking or head spirituality. You value responsibility, logic, and order. Maybe that's why you were voted "Most Dependable" by your high school classmates. Structure and organization are important to you. What would the world be like without you? Chaos, that's what! Your favorite words include should, ought, and be prepared. What makes you feel warm and fuzzy? Like Tevye from Fiddler on the Roof it's tradition! tradition! tradition!

Because you love words, written or spoken, you enjoy a good lecture, serious discussions, and theological reflection. Prayer for you usually is verbal. You thrive on activity and gatherings of people, such as study groups. Sages on retreat likely would fill every day with planned activities, leaving little time for silence or solitude.

We need Sages for your clear thinking and orderly ways. You pay attention to details that others overlook. Sages make contributions to education, publishing, and theology. You often are the ones who feel a duty to serve, give, care, and share with the rest of us.

On the other hand, sometimes you seem unfeeling, too intellectual, or dry. Can you say "dogmatic"? You may need to experience the freedom of breaking a rule or two every now and then. God's grace covers Sages too, you know!

BEING VERY VAGUE

First things first: Thanks everyone for the kind words sa last post ko! I really appreciate it. And I'm glad to be back. Okay, here goes my post:

A lot has been happening with me lately. And I'm very sorry I can't be detailed in my post. Please bear with me, as I try to tell you in a very vague manner what has been happening.

I'm experiencing something new this time around. Actually, it's not that novel an experience, but since some variables of the situation are different from other similar experiences I had before, it feels like new to me. And it's pretty exciting. And I have no idea if it will lead to anything or not, although of course I wish and pray that it would.

Recently, I found that it has become very difficult to me to remain calm when faced with the "situation." It has become very difficult for me to think clearly and straight these days. And it has become very difficult for me not to lose myself in this whole process.

But despite those I mentioned above, I've learned very important lessons through this experience. So, even if, in the end, it would not lead to anything, I have these valuable lessons to cherish.

1) I am very impatient. I do not know how to sit still and wait on God's will for me. Most of the times, in my desire to have a butterfly, I would hurriedly unwrap a cocoon rather than wait for the butterfly to emerge from it. And I end up disabling the caterpillar, preventing it from transforming into this beautiful butterfly. Right now, God is teaching me to sit still and wait for Him.

2) There are times, when I ask for things that would cause me death (not physical, but rather, spiritual). And God does not grant anything that would cause His children death. Rather, He would give His children things that would bring them life. And so, if I don't get what I want or asked for, I should remember that it might be because that thing I asked for would have caused me my death.

3) People's opinions of me matter so much to me that I would compromise who I am in order for people to like me. I should stop seeking validation from people, and instead, be confident in my own person. After all, I am a beloved daughter of God. And He loves me very much.

4) There are times when God would tell me He has something to give me. When this happens, I try to guess what the gift would be. Being that my expectations are always high, I always imagine the gift to be something grand and beautiful. So, when the gift that was given me did not meet my expectations, I end up disappointed. Rather than be grateful for the gift that was given to me freely, not because I deserve it, but because God wanted me to have it, I grumble and complain.

Now, God is teaching me to be content with all the treasures He gives me, even though they are not what I expect. I should be thankful not because of the gift, but because of the giver of the gift.

With those said, I still wish and hope and pray for something to come out of this. I still tell God what I want, but with the disclaimer, "not my will, but Yours be done. I humbly surrender myself to Your will and accept Your will for me even though it might not be what I want."

Will you kindly pray for me and my "special intention"? Thank you!

RISING FROM THE ASHES

It's been a while since I last posted nor read people's blogs. I apologize. I just got wrapped up in some things and therefore been busy for the past couple of weeks.

But now I have a bit of time to blog. And what better topic to write about than the one I was recently asked about. =) I wrote sometime ago about giving myself the time to rise from the ashes. And I said that would be on May 27th. And Mitzi kindly asked me if I had already risen from the ashes.

Well, I believe I have. =) I'm still not a full-blown Phoenix yet (Harry Potter fans must know what I'm talking about). I still have a lot of growing up to do, but I'm happy to say that I'm well on my way to "maturity!" All through the grace of God!

For those who didn't know, I went through something so horrible last year. It was too much for me to handle, I ended up bursting into flames. All that was left of me were ashes. And it was the hardest thing for me to pick up the pieces of my life and move on. I wasn't like Fawkes who rose immediately from his ashes.

I apologize if I can't still write the details of what happened that caused me to wallow in self pity nor what I did or did not do to and for myself as I was wallowing in shame and pain.

But I praise and thank God for all the angels He continuously sent me until I finally had enough courage to pick myself up and rise again (by grace through faith). =)